Mark Sanford reveals undisclosed location on 'Appalachian Trail'

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Governor of South Carolina Mark Sanford apologized in a press conference for cheating on his wife with a woman in Argentina and putting his staff in the unfortunately comedic position of explaining his disappearance by saying he was on an undisclosed part of the Appalachian Trail - on Father's Day weekend!

I'm going to poke fun of Sanford a little here, but not for his human weakness, but because he is a hypocrite and fully deserves it. Some of you who know me, know full well that I am far from being a saint. But if I ever get caught having an affair with a woman from overseas (oh wait, that kinda happened to me) or even get caught dressed in a tutu with some dude's teabag in my mouth (not yet, calm down!), people might be shocked and hurt, but they won't call me a hypocrite, because I haven't built my reputation on pretending I have some higher moral standard and denying other people their rights because of it.

Here's a few of Sanford's quotes to illustrate my point:

• He voted to impeach Clinton and felt inclined to throw in a little personal judgment while he was at it. He was especially appalled about the Bill's lying.

The bottom line, though, is I am sure there will be a lot of legalistic explanations pointing out that the president lied under oath. His situation was not under oath. The bottom line, though, is he still lied. He lied under a different oath, and that is the oath to his wife. So it’s got to be taken very, very seriously.

The issue of lying is probably the biggest harm, if you will, to the system of Democratic government, representative government, because it undermines trust. And if you undermine trust in our system, you undermine everything.

• He is against civil unions for homosexuals and against letting them adopt.

As Jenny and I are the parents of four little boys, we've always taught our kids that marriage was something between a man and a woman. (Isn't it getting to the point where gays should start a movement against heterosexual marriage because it threatens the sanctity of marriage?) - parenthetical obviously mine

So here are some things I find amusing about this story and the apology.

• The obvious new euphemisms Sanford has spawned, e.g. 'spending some time on the Appalachian Trail', 'hitting the Appalachian Trail', 'how was your hike? (wink)', 'some time alone driving the Argentinean coastline', 'crying in Argentina'.
• It was a real apology, but still Sanford miraculously found a way to turn it into a lecture on morals and to appeal to 'people of faith'; he went on and on about 'God's law', which he says is to 'protect people from themselves'. May be true, but 'God's Law' is also clearly meant to punish severely those who break it. Take Leviticus 20 for example (one of the chapters of the Bible commonly used against homosexuals). "The LORD said to Moses....If a man commits adultery with his neighbor's wife, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall be put to death." I'm sure now we'll hear the religious right on cable news strongly condemning Sanford in the same way they do against gays.
• The subtle ways Sanford tries to gain sympathy by 1) talking about how much pressure there is in politics, 2) choking up when he talks about his kids, and 3) explaining that he was really trying to do God's work at the beginning of the relationship - here are a few nuggets:

in the battle that was in place with regard to the stimulus package, the $700
million in play, and how, at an emotional level, I found it exhausting......
and we called it Jurassic Park (chokes up) because it was the kids’ dinosaur sheets and all kinds of different folks were living there in the campaign......I met this person a little over eight years ago. Again, very innocently. And struck up a conversation, and I want to go back to the bubble of politics. This is not justifying..........there's a certain irony to this. This person at the time was separated, and we ended up in this incredibly serious conversation about why she ought to get back with her husband for the sake of her two boys; that not only was it part of God’s law.....And we had this incredibly earnest conversation and at the end of it, I said, “Could I get your e-mail?” We swapped e-mails, whatever. And it began just on a very casual basis........when you live in the zone of politics, you can’t ever let your guard down.........I spent the last five days, and I was crying in Argentina so I could repeat it when I came back here

• Sanford likes to say he's a 'bottom line' kind of guy; he says it many times in this speech and others I've struggled through. I'd like to see this Argentinean girl and witness his taste in bottom lines - ba boom!
• And finally - Sanford refers to the 'process' of forgiveness over and over, as if it's just a matter of time before his wife and the public will forgive him. In fact he even insinuated that it's part of God's law that a wife stay with her hubbie! He's got a team of religious leaders and who knows who else working on it. But I say - how about the 'process' of take a hike? No, no, no..Sanford...I don't mean on the Appalachian trail!

You can read e-mails of the two starcrossed lovers - just the juicy details here and longer ones here